User:Benpollara/Omololu Akin-Ojo/RSCorundum Peer Review
Wrote a peer review
New page
==General info==
;Whose work are you reviewing?
Benpollara
;Link to draft you're reviewing:[[User:Benpollara/Omololu Akin-Ojo]]
== Evaluate the drafted changes ==
This is an interesting article about an interesting person, it's well sourced, contains good information, and is relatively neutral and balanced. The sourcing is pretty good for a biography.
Onto some nitpicks, these are minor changes that are relatively easy to make. First, you can't use the abbreviation "postdoc," you have to say "postdoctoral research" or something like that, this is because of Wikipedia's formal style. Similarly, the phrase "would have the opportunity to transition into the founding director of" is far too complex grammatically, just say he "became the founding director" or "was named the founding director," just for ease of reading. Similarly, ICTP-EAIFR has a hyphen in the middle because "International Centre for Theoretical Physics" and "East African Institute for Fundamental Research" are two separate parts of it's name, in the lead section, you put them right next to each other with no separation and "International Centre for Theoretical Physics East African Institute for Fundamental Research" is very hard to parse. Additionally, you should add more links.
The lead should probably say what the ICTP-EAIFR does or what it's goals are, you shouldn't make people wait a section to hear that. When you talk about it later, you should provide more information about it. I'd love to see Akin-Ojo's research expanded on, it needs a bit more detail, I think. Aside from most details on those fronts, I think the information in the article is pretty good
It's cool that you have an info-box! I could use one of those in my article.
Good work, I can't wait to see this when it's finished.
;Whose work are you reviewing?
Benpollara
;Link to draft you're reviewing:[[User:Benpollara/Omololu Akin-Ojo]]
== Evaluate the drafted changes ==
This is an interesting article about an interesting person, it's well sourced, contains good information, and is relatively neutral and balanced. The sourcing is pretty good for a biography.
Onto some nitpicks, these are minor changes that are relatively easy to make. First, you can't use the abbreviation "postdoc," you have to say "postdoctoral research" or something like that, this is because of Wikipedia's formal style. Similarly, the phrase "would have the opportunity to transition into the founding director of" is far too complex grammatically, just say he "became the founding director" or "was named the founding director," just for ease of reading. Similarly, ICTP-EAIFR has a hyphen in the middle because "International Centre for Theoretical Physics" and "East African Institute for Fundamental Research" are two separate parts of it's name, in the lead section, you put them right next to each other with no separation and "International Centre for Theoretical Physics East African Institute for Fundamental Research" is very hard to parse. Additionally, you should add more links.
The lead should probably say what the ICTP-EAIFR does or what it's goals are, you shouldn't make people wait a section to hear that. When you talk about it later, you should provide more information about it. I'd love to see Akin-Ojo's research expanded on, it needs a bit more detail, I think. Aside from most details on those fronts, I think the information in the article is pretty good
It's cool that you have an info-box! I could use one of those in my article.
Good work, I can't wait to see this when it's finished.
